Is there something wrong with me? Or do other people feel like this too? What can I do?

Thoughts of suicide can be frightening, confusing and isolating. Suicidal thoughts can occur to anyone at any point in their life. They are more common than you may realize. When life doesn’t seem worth living anymore, it may seem that the only way to find relief is through suicide. When you’re feeling this way, it may be hard to believe, but you do have other options. Take a step back and separate your emotions from your actions for the moment.

• Recognize that depression and hopelessness can distort your perceptions and reduce your ability to make good decisions.
• Realize that suicidal feelings are the result of treatable problems.
• Act as if there are other options instead of suicide, even if you may not see them right now. It may not be easy, and you might not feel better overnight. Eventually, though, the sense of hopelessness — and thoughts of suicide — will lift.

We understand what it’s like to have thoughts about suicide. Sometimes when we’re feeling overwhelmed, our thoughts and feelings can spiral out of control. Grounding techniques that bring our thoughts and attention back to the present moment can help short-circuit unhelpful or distressing thoughts.
We have found an effective grounding technique the ‘5 senses’, which uses our 5 senses to focus our attention away from our anxiety, and back to the present.

Please give this a go and really feel and follow this. Try to notice and put a name to:

* Five things you can see
* Four things you can feel
* Three things you can hear
* Two things you can smell
* One thing you can taste

To connect with the present moment, you might prefer trying these other grounding techniques:

• Doing some exercise, maybe go for a walk and appreciate nature
• Meditation, or listening to calming music
• Cook yourself a meal
• Taking a long hot or cold shower.

But what is anxiety? How can I try to be me again?

Anxiety is excessive and uncontrollable anticipation of future perceived threats. Feeling anxious in certain situations can help us avoid danger, triggering our ‘fight or flight’ response. This is how we have evolved to keep ourselves safe. However, when your worries don’t go away, happen for no particular reason, are out of proportion to the situation or get in the way of your daily life, this may indicate that you have an anxiety disorder.

Below are some strategies you may find helpful if you are experiencing anxiety:

• Identify how you are feeling, acknowledge your emotional response and accept your experience.
• Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
• If this is helpful for you, focus on your breathing. Count to five as you breathe in slowly – then count to five as you breathe out slowly.
• Stay in the present moment. Anxiety can make your thoughts live in a future that hasn’t happened yet, so try to bring yourself back to where you are. Practicing mindfulness can help.
• Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Keeping active, eating well, avoiding alcohol and other drugs (including caffeine), going out into nature, spending time with family and friends, reducing stress and doing the activities you enjoy are all effective in reducing anxiety and improving your wellbeing.
• Other therapies such as massage, yoga, and meditation may also be something you find helpful in managing symptoms of anxiety.

Is this a thing or is it just me? What can I do to help myself?

When faced with a challenging situations or stressful events our bodies release stress hormones. These create physical changes in the body, which help us cope with the immediate situation. However, if the stress is ongoing and the physical changes do not subside, we may feel overwhelmed and unable to cope.

Knowing yourself and how you respond to different situations can help you learn what works for you in terms of managing stress. There are some signs to look out for which indicate our stress levels are negatively affecting our mental health and wellbeing: Which include “Feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope” and “Feeling ‘on edge’ or unable to stop worrying”

Here are some practical strategies for managing stress when feeling overwhelmed and finding it difficult to cope:

• Identify the cause of your stress and review your current coping strategies
• Talk to a someone you trust (e.g. friend, family member, religious or community leader, or GP)
• Remind yourself of your skills and strengths, achievements and effort made during this difficult time
• Make a positive plan on how to address the situation
• Eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, and avoid alcohol and other drugs
• Exercise helps release built up tension in your body & releases ‘happy’ hormones and increase feelings of wellbeing
• Find time for activities you enjoy
• Access local supports services (GP, Counselling Services)

Who can help me be heard – is there anything I can do for myself?

If you’re feeling lonely right now, and want to explore some options for what you can do about it, the tips below are here to help. Some might feel more challenging for you than others. It’s important to not push yourself too much, but remember growth comes when you step outside your comfort zone. You might want to get started with something that feels a little tricky, but is still achievable for you. As you build confidence, you can try other options that will take you even further.

It might sound obvious, but the best place to look for a friend is the friend’s you already have, or have had in the past. Reaching out to someone you already know can be intimidating and hard, but is also the shortest route to authentic connection. This can open up your loneliness by connecting to others but keep in mind:

• Most people appreciate when an old friend or former school friend reaches out to say hello. Life gets busy, and just because they haven’t said hello to you, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect.
• Re-establishing a connection is much easier than starting a new one – you’ve already got things to catch up on, shared interests, or old stories to laugh at.
• It can be easier to start a conversation with old school friend, friends of friends, or that interesting person you once met, compared with people you don’t know at all.

Try reaching out to someone you already know. If they don’t reply, or don’t want to connect, don’t be disheartened, it’s likely more of a reflection of their busyness than it is on you.

This issue of depression and suicide is a lot more common than most most people think.

Most people struggling may not want to talk about their mental health or feelings for fear of judgement.

The first way to help, is to listen.

Giving the gift of your time and presence to your child, be there to listen without judgement. Even if you may not agree with your child at that moment in time, listening without interruption is often the most helpful way to help. If you don’t agree with your child at that moment, continue to listen, allow your child to have an opinion at that moment. Maybe in a future moment when your childs mood might be brighter it might be possible to discuss the topic again.

If communication is not so good, it might be an idea to start by asking something like “your mood seems a little lower than usual, is there anything you would like to share? Perhaps there’s something not right at school, or with friends, or even something in the family that is upsetting you at all?”
Again, of utmost importance is to listen without interrupting your child. Being heard is the most rewarding someone who is depressed. It’s best not to offer solutions as this can be seen as judgement.

If the timing feels right, you could also possibly share something like this with your family member / friend.

“I heard about a hotline that help with people in challenging and even stressful situations, how would you feel about contacting them?

All you can do is be there for them without judgement. It’s often difficult when we see our friends talking about suicide.

How about sharing something like this with your friend.

“I heard about a hotline that help with people in challenging and even stressful situations, how would you feel about contacting them?

Self harm can, in some cases become an addictive behaviour. If you suspect a a loved one is harming themselves if the person is ok to talk about it, you can offer them to work on something less damaging.

One of the best methods that seems to help lots of people is to work on a different method when they feel the need to harm themselves is to have a rubber band around the wrist, then if there’s ever the feeling or need for self harm, flick the rubber band.

This can often be really helpful!

DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF LOVED ONES
Here’s a little something to think about and contemplate if your loved ones are struggling with grieving.

If it’s possible to have a conversation about the topic of death, then offer them to think what the person who passed over would have wanted for them, after they passed over?

As in; do you think _____, who passed away would want you to be upset right now, or, perhaps do you think they might want you to continue on with your own life?

or

One question we can ask when someone really close to us passes over is; what would they want from or for us? Would they want us to be sad and upset, or, would they want us to be happy knowing that you knew each other and that you could cherish the good memories?

What we are doing here is changing the perspective.

Here are the most incredibly helpful videos designed to help you understand much more how to deal with loved ones going through mental health issues. Please watch and take part in this simple training session.

This is a link to the full 20 minute session:

This is the short 5-10minute version:

HIGH RISK WARNING SIGNS

A person may be at high risk of attempting suicide if they:

. are talking about harming themselves or taking their own life
. if they talk or write about death, dying or suicide
. are actively seeking ways to take their own life, such as storing lots of medication

If someone you know shows any of these high risk warning signs, invite them to visit this RESOURCES page, perhaps they will find something useful here.

There is a lot of stigma for people struggling with mental health issues so it can be really helpful to mention that it’s totally ok to visit a mental health expert, be it doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, for therapists and counsellors, it’s always best to seek those who may specialist in such matters.